That Fucking Guy.

We've all had games against 'That Fucking Guy' (which will be abbreviated to TFG from now on).

Now I'm not necessarily talking about competitive gamers who build their armies to win, carefully optimise units and know mathematically which unit should beat what as many of my regular opponents enjoy playing like that and are generally not arseholes...well, not all the time anyway ;-).

So, what puts someone into the TFG category?

The following list is by no means conclusive nor in any particular order but it does cover all the things that annoy me most.

1) Over Moving or the Zig-Zag.

a) Blatant Over-Moving - Usually seen waving the tape over the vague area the model is in and then moving it about 8" and hoping no-one notices or is too polite to say anything.

b) The Front to Back - Measuring from one point of the hull or base at the start of your move and a different one at the end. Most commonly seen measuring from the front of a models base and then plonking the model down in front of the 6" mark thereby gaining yourself an Inch of movement.

c) The Zig-Zag - Moving the Model 6" then changing your mind, moving the model back to about a mile away from where it started and the measuring your 6" from there.

Suggestions

At the beginning of the game this is fairly easy to counter. Most armies by virtue of there strengths or weaknesses start deployed as close as possible to you or as far away as possible, the measurements for deployment zones are precisely defined so it should be easy to tell if some-things reached you before it should have. Later on it gets trickier but by then you should be reasonably sure if your opponent is prone to this sort of activity so you should get into the habit of noticing where he measures from and what terrain features he was near. Never be afraid to say something if there's an issue as most dick-heads of this nature rely on your politeness to get away with it.

2) Line of Sight/Cover Saves.

a) The imaginary Cover Save - I'm all for giving my opponent the benefit of the doubt (That's probably a lie but it undermines my argument somewhat if I admit otherwise, lol). But I've had some really tedious games where I've spent more time debating whether a unit gets cover or not than I've spent playing. Most of these are of the 'can you see me through that twig variety'.

Suggestions

Read the rulebook. The definitions for Line of Sight and Cover Saves are clearly defined with nice clear diagrams (for a change). But as a brief rule of thumb line of sight for infantry comes from their eyes, Line of sight for vehicles comes from the guns and all guns have clearly defined arcs of fire (again in the rulebook). That said if after all that it is still debatable then let them have the Cover Save or agree to go with the decision of an independent observer and ask someone else to decide. Roll-offs should be a last resort in my opinion.

3) Rules 'Interpreting'

a) Ultimate rules of Doom!!! - If the rule your opponent just told you about seems to good to be true (for him) then it probably is.

b) Bullying - Some Prick saying the same rule in a more aggressive tone doesn't make it any more valid. If it sounds like a load of crap then ask to check.

c) 'Accidental' forgetfulness - 'Oh I forgot I couldn't do that/had to do that'

Suggestions

This ones easy to solve. Always make sure that you and your opponent have the Codices for your particular armies, any FAQ's for your armies (especially if rules have FAQ's or erratas that you rely on for your army), a legible army list and at least one main rule book between you. Easy ;-)

4) WYSIWYG

a) Proxy or 'That coke can is a Drop Pod' - No it fucking isn't, get an actual Drop Pod or fuck off.

b) WYSIWYG - If your model has an impressive Chainsword and you want it to 'Count-As' a Power Sword then that's fine (if a bit lame). Your Assault Cannon is however an Assault Cannon not a Heavy 'bloody' Flamer or a Cyclone Missile Launcher. I don't care if you've paid the points for it or not, anything that isn't WYSIWYG needs to be explained to your opponent before the game starts and a good reason would be nice as well ;-).

Suggestions

1 minute of explaining before the game is better than 20 minutes of arguing in the middle of the game. I'm all for cool conversions, but there should still be some basis for why weapon 'A' is actually a weapon 'B'. Also it should be consistent across your army, If that Tau Burst Cannon is an Assault Cannon then they all should be or none of them should be.

5) Transportation.

a) The Inter Transport Teleportation system - Amazing, the weapon team you need to destroy my unit is in that transport is it?, funny it started of in that one over there!

Suggestions

Always ask what's in transport vehicles, I always put characters on the top of transports they're in and if equivalent units have different wargear I put the 'special' weapon guys on top as well, It's quite reasonable to insist your opponent does the same.

6) Slow Play

a) Thinking about it - If your army consists of 100+ Orks, Guardsmen or Gaunts then you should be thinking about where to move while your opponent is having there turn not for 25 minutes afterwards.

b) You can't have a go - 'Oh look I've just beat you by one objective and we've no time for your go.

Suggestions

If there is any debate about whether you can both get a turn in then stop the game there and then. If your opponent insists (or you yourself would like to risk it), then make a note of Kill Points and Objectives at that point. If you don't both get a turn then use the Score from then.

If anybody has anything to add, or amusing stories about TFG's they've screwed over (or injured in some way) please feel free to comment.