Tuesday, 19 July 2011

House of Paincakes Article No. 30

Tuesday article can be found here. This time rather ironically on the subject of blogging being hard fucking work.

In my continuing campaign to ensure that I never get onto the Blog Roll at the FTW blog network (because apparently 'real' hobbyists don't swear or like girls) here's some pictures of Devon Aoki.

I know I usually have some vague theme to justify 'Tuesday's Eye-Candy' but this time I don't. If you'd like to make up a theme then that's fine ;-)

As 'Suki' in 2 Fast 2 Furious.



As 'Dominique' in D.E.B.S.



As 'Miho' in Sin City.





As 'Kasumi' in DOA: Dead or Alive.



And a few as herself which are big enough to use as wallpapers should you feel so inclined ;-)



And just in case that wasn't enough to put off the FTW crowd.....Fuck, Fuckity, Fuck, Fuck, lol.

Back (But Not Necessarily By Public Demand)

Yes, I have returned.....Hip, Hip, Hooray!!! you all cry.....


Or maybe you just cry.....


Who knows?

Anyway,

My weekly House of Paincakes article will be appearing some time today. I pre-warn you it's a bit self pitying, lol. As I don't want to break tradition I'll have a linking article on my own blog that will also have pictures of some random hot-girl in it for no immediately justifiable reason other than I want to...

Tomorrow I'll be doing a (somewhat belated) article on the 'Young Bloods' Tournament that I went to in order to give moral support to a young gentleman from my FLGS and Thursday I'll try and catch up with some of the list assistance e-mails that I've yet to look at. After that, normal service will be resumed.

See you all soon, lol.

Wednesday, 13 July 2011

A Brief Break from Blogging.

I am up to my eyeballs in 'Real Life' stuff to do over the next few days so blogging will have to unfortunately go on 'standby' mode till Monday next week.

Though telling you all this will undoubtedly effect my blog 'hits' for the next few days it did seem the polite thing to do, lol. Hopefully I'll be back to boring you with the same inane crap and random waffling on (that you all seem to come back for repeatedly) early next week.

If your desperate for a blogging fix then you can try some of the sites in my 'Links' section or have a read through some of the old stuff that you might have missed. On a side note, thanks to the few of you who have clicked on the adverts that the resulting revenue of paid for the fuel I used driving to Nottingham to take pics of the 'Young Bloods' tournament (which I'll be doing an article on as soon as I'm back to normal output). If you could keep on doing that then it would be much appreciated. Also if your not yet a follower of the blog then you can always do that as well ;-)

Until then here's a picture of an attractive half-naked girl holding a Flame-thrower that will further guarantee that I never get approved for the FTW blog network......


I suppose I best use the word 'Fuck' at least once as well.....

Saturday, 9 July 2011

Young Bloods @ Warhammer World - Best Painted


A young lad from my FLGS went to the 'Young Bloods' one day 40K tournament at Warhammer World today. I'll do a blog post on both his progress and my opinions of the event at a later date but for now here's some pictures of those armies nominated for 'best painted'.

Editors Note : I apologise in advance for the various reflections on some of the pics but I did the best I could with the equipment I had available ;-)

Chaos Space Marines.




Space Wolves?




Eldar.




Dark Eldar.




Orks.




Feel free to comment on anything you like (with the exception of my photography skills for which I've already apologised, lol).

Friday, 8 July 2011

Warhammer Forge Newsletter #11

http://www.forgeworld.co.uk/SiteImages/fw-wh-logo.png 
Warhammer Forge Newsletter # 11



Hi there,
            Warhammer Forge’s range already includes an abundance of great models and this week’s new release is no exception. The Dreadquake Mortar, the largest Chaos Dwarf war machine Warhammer Forge has yet released, is now available to pre-order. As well as details of this stunning new addition to our range, we also have an events update for you for the rapidly approaching Games Days in Chicago and Germany.
Chaos Dwarf Dreadquake Mortar
Chaos Dwarf Dreadquake MortarThe massive and terrifying Dreadquake Mortar is amongst the largest and most devastating of the siege engines fielded by the Dwai Zharr. Akin, in appearance at least, to the bombards used by other races, the Dreadquake Mortar uses a vast boiler to generate steam pressure to fire its munitions. The sorcerous energies bound within these immense, volatile shells explode on impact, striking the battlefield like a hammer blow and causing untold devastation.
The Dreadquake Mortar is a huge war machine; a colossal mortar mounted upon an arcane steam carriage. The Mortar itself, designed by Tim Adcock and Keith Robertson, measures a mighty 8" long and towers over its four Chaos Dwarf crew figures and even its brutish, enslaved Ogre Loader.
Experimental rules for this mechanical behemoth are available to download from the Forge World website, and are taken from the forthcoming Warhammer Forge book Tamurkhan: The Throne of Chaos. The Chaos Dwarf Dreadquake Mortar is available to pre-order now for despatch in the week commencing 25th July.
Warhammer Forge at a Games Day near you!
The full range of 
Warhammer Forge products released so far this year will be on sale at Games Day Chicago on 30th July and Games Day Germany in Cologne on 7th August.
Both shows will have the Chaos Dwarf Hellsmith show only model available to purchase alongside Forge World’s MkIII Armoured Boarding Space Marine.Mark Bedford will be joining Forge World model designer Will Hayes at Games Day Chicago, while Warhammer Forge sculptors Steve Whitehead and Keith Robertson, as well as graphic artist Sam Lamont, will be attending Games Day Germany. We look forward to seeing you there!

Thanks,
Ead Brown
Customer Service Manager
Forge World

Tuesday, 5 July 2011

House of Paincakes Article No. 28

Tuesday House of Paincakes Article can be found here,

As there has been no particular lady that caught my eye this week I've decided to base this weeks 'Tuesday Eye-Candy' around 'girls with blades' for no other reason than it allows me to crowbar in a few more pictures of Kate Beckinsale, Rhona Mitra and Milla Jovovich......

Speaking of which,

Milla Jovovich.



Kate Beckinsale.



Rhona Mitra.




And a few more notables,

Jennifer Garner.



Catherine Zeta Jones.


And for those amongst you with long memories,

Sandahl Bergman.



And to the girl who E-mailed me who said that she didn't mind the pictures of girls but implied that I was too insecure in my own sexuality to show pictures of any men here's something to shut her up,


Well that should make everybody happy then ;-)

Sisters of Battle Rumours.

Thanks to Natfka over at Faeit 212 for compiling all the current crop of Sisters of Battle rumours into one handy list.

Repeated below,


Remember that these are still rumours so take with as much salt as you like ;-)


Sisters of Battle Rules
Faith has changed a lot. Gone are the requirements to roll over the number of models, instead Acts of Faith are activated on a D6 roll of a 5+.

Each unit that can use faith roll a D6 every turn and this is the number of faith points added to the pool of faith points which is regenerated each turn with no carry over for points not used.

Most importantly is that there are no generic acts of faith. Each unit have a particular set of Acts unique to them. So for example Battle Sisters get to re-roll to hit, whilst Sisters Repentia get to always attack even if slain before they would normally be able to strike.

Each Act of Faith can be used in any phase where it is relevant so a squad can use a Faith point to re-roll to hit in the shooting phase and then another in the assault phase to do the same.

HQ
Canoness
As before. Can take a wide variety of equipment. Possibly can take a bodyguard of Celestians.

Confessor
May take a retinue in the same way an inquisitor can and may draw from a large number of follower types including many from the GK codex. Allows any unit they lead to re-roll to hit and to wound in close combat.

Troops
Battle Sisters
10-20 models per squad.
Transport: Rhinos and Repressors(?) or Immolators(?)

Acts of Faith:
Re-roll to hit in shooting and/or assault phase
May use several acts of faith.

Elite
Celestians
5-10 models per squad.
Weapon options include combi-weapons and specialist ammunition such as psy-bolt rounds.
Transport: Rhino or Repressor

Sister Repentia
Cost: "Space Marine points cost"
10-20 models per squad.
Fearless, Rage, Feel no Pain
Equiped with Eviscerators

Mistress equipped with power armour and twin neural whips, power weapons that auto-wound on a 4+.

Act of Faith: Allowed to strike with models killed before they get to attack. (Only in Death Does Duty End?)

May not take a transport.

Henchmen:
Arco-Flagellants
Deathcult Assassins
Crusaders
Chirurgeons

Fast Attack
Seraphim
Dominions

Heavy Support
Retributors
Act of Faith: Ap1 on 6s to hit (New version of Divine Guidance?)

Exorcist
Largely unchanged but is thought to increase in range.
Penitent Engines


Releases
Boxed Sets
Battle Sisters Box, plastic kit (Could be Celestian/Seraphim shared box)
5x Sisters or Seraphim
11 Heads, 5 bare, 5 helmeted and 1 with gasmask/respirator
Flamer, Melta Gun, Storm Bolter, Hand Flamer (both left and right hand), Inferno Gun(?) and Inferno Pistol (both left and right hand), Bolters, Bolt Pistols, Power Weapon, Chain Swords

Penitent Engine Box, plastic kit
4x Different CCW options, aesthetic only?
Flamer or Melta mounts under arms.
Several Driver choices
3 Icon Badges from major orders.
Miscellaneous scroll plates and extra bits

Repressor Box, plastic kit
Similar to Forge World one
Reworked Turrent and different Dozer Blade
Same 3 Icon from Penitent Engine kit but bigger
Numerous scrolls and Sister doors.
2 Driver heads, bare and helmeted

Priest kit, plastic?
Comparable to Empire Wizards kit
Numerous heads
Plasma Pistol, Bolt Pistol, Hand Flamer, Book, Eviscerator

So what does everybody think then?

Sunday, 3 July 2011

Primarchs - Magnus

I thought this one might be tricky but I'm giving it a go anyway,

Essentially a being made of psychic energy in a humanoid outer shell. Able to use his psychic abilities at an Alpha+ level standard from the moment of his emergence from his pod.....

Essentially Magnus is living proof that the saying 'no good deed goes unpunished' is depressingly correct. He also further validates the opinion that the Emperor was a self centred egomaniac. His use of his psychic abilities to warn the Emperor of the heresy of Horus that disrupted the Emperors own work on Terra could easily have been avoided had he bothered to tell any of his sons what he was actually doing.

As a side note it's worth mentioning that none of the Primarchs that turned to Chaos did so for entirely selfish reasons. Magnus was left with no choice, Lorgar was allowed to do things is own way until the Emperor changed the rules suddenly, Angron was snatched from his own people when the Emperor could have saved them all without effort, Curze was used as a weapon of terror and then admonished for being a weapon of terror and so on. Even Peturabo who was apparently a dick-head pretty much from day one could probably have been kept on the side of the loyalists by the simple benefit of the odd "well done son" from daddy ;-)

Anyway,

Magnus could apparently represent himself in any physical proportions he felt like at the time but was generally regarded as being one of the largest of the Primarchs to the point that should he have gone down the physical path rather than a mental one he would have been an extremely able warrior (even by Primarch standards). This makes giving him statistics a bit tricky. I have therefore gone with the standard Primarch profile with increased strength to represent this increased size with perhaps a few other stat increases here and there.

As for equipment, he'll have the standard Primarch Armour, a staff (which is described as 'bladed' in the 'A Thousand Sons' novel) which seems to be able to shoot arcs of lightning capable of destroying battle tanks (more likely this is focusing Magnus's own power rather than being a ranged weapon in it's own right). It also makes mention of a 'Golden Axe' but I am taking this to mean that the 'Bladed Staff' was also usable like an axe rather than being two separate weapons.

Then of course we have his psychic abilities to take into account.....

I feel I should point out that these posts are not intended to be incredibly well balanced in 40K terms. Rather they are an extrapolation of the existing rules designed to be used in large Apocalypse games against another Primarch of equal (ish) power or failing that they need to be allocated a fairly high points value ;-)

Magnus the Red, Primarch of the Thousand Sons.



WS 7, BS 6, S 7, T 6, W 6, I 6, A 4, Ld. 10, Save 1+/3+inv.

Composition : 1 (Unique)
Unit Type : Infantry


Wargear:
Primarch Armour, Staff of Magnus*.

*Staff of Magnus - A focus for his own psychic power Magnus's staff acts as both a Force and Power Weapon with all the appropriate rules of both. Furthermore, whenever an enemy model succeeds on a Psychic test within 72" of Magnus, roll a die - on a roll of 3 or more that power may be nullified if he wishes.

In addition it can be used as a ranged weapon with the following profile. Range 24", S10, AP1, Assault 3.


Special Rules:
Acute Senses, Aura of Power**, And They Shall Know No Fear, Eternal Warrior, Independent Character, Master of Psykers***, Might of the Primarch, Relentless, Will of the Primarch, Wings of Power****.

**Aura of Power - The Primarch is surrounded by an aura of power barely tolerable by even Astartes let alone mortals - Magnus counts as being equipped with both Assault and Defensive Grenades.

***Master of Psykers - There is little doubt that Magnus was at the time the Emperor himself was active the 2nd most powerful psyker in existence and there was little to limit his power beyond his own imagination.

Magnus may use six psychic powers per turn. Furthermore he makes his Psychic tests on three dice and may choose any two of these in order to ascertain his total for the test. In the highly unlikely event of a 'Perils of the Warp' result Magnus may ignore it on a roll of 2+ on a single die. Finally, he may target multiple different units with these powers and may use a power more than once should he wish.

Should an enemy Psyker attempt to stop one of Magnus's own abilities from working by use of a Psychic Hood (or equivalent) then Magnus himself rolls three dice and picks the highest to add to his own Leadership score for the test of wills. Items with a fixed chance of success (such as Runic weapons) suffer a penalty of -d3 to their attempt to nullify his power (rolled for penalty before the test is taken). Should an enemy psyker attempt to stop one of Magnus's powers and fail he immediately suffers from 'Perils of the Warp' as the psychic feedback overloads his mind.

He may use any of the psychic powers from the standard lists (so not powers that are unique to single models) in the following Codices.

Blood Angels - Any from page 63, Chaos Space Marines - Any from page 88, Dark Angels - Any from page 39, Grey Knights - Any from page 25, Space Marines - Any, Space Wolves - Any from page 37, with the exception of 'Fury of the Wolf Spirits' which seems somewhat inappropriate ;-).

In addition Magnus may choose to focus his power into a specific psychic ability. For each psychic power he chooses to use below his maximum of six he may increase or decrease a single statistic in a power he uses by one or alternatively may extend a shooting attacks range by 12" or an area effect powers range by 6".

For example : Magnus has already used four powers this turn and for his 5th he decides to use 'Smite' on an enemy unit, deciding that the unit is probably out of range he sacrifices his use of a 6th power in order to extend the range of 'Smite' by 12" to 24". He could alternatively (in this example) have increased the strength to 5 or lowered the AP to 1 had the unit been closer.
This time Magnus has seen a large group of Jump Infantry moving towards an objective and decides to use the power 'Tempest's Wrath' to make this difficult for them. As the objective is a fair distance away Magnus only uses a single power this turn and sacrifices his remaining five to upgrade this ability by extending it's Range of 24" by five lots of 6" giving the power an area of effect of an incredible 54"!!!

****Wings of Power - With a mere flex of his psychic power Magnus can propel himself across the battlefield without using the mundane method of actually walking - Magnus and any unit he has joined may choose to move as Jump Infantry if he so wishes. This decision must be made at the the beginning of each turn.

So Magnus is floating across the battlefield throwing out psychic abilities like there's no tomorrow and toasting the brains of any psykers foolish enough to attempt to stop him. Sounds about right to me.....

Thoughts and Comments are (as usual) most welcome.

Friday, 1 July 2011

One of those 'what I'm doing' posts.....

So I have a couple of e-mail requests for help to sort out that require working to odd points values and/or non-standard FOC's so they'll take a bit of thought. So you guys (you know who you are) will have to wait a bit.

My report on my 2nd Company progress for the week can be summed up like this,


I've also decided to start off my 'featured army' Saturday posts with one of my own armies so I can fine tune the format and questionnaire without making anybody else's army look lame by screwing up the layout in any way.

Sunday's 'Primarch' post should still be on schedule. This week I'm having a go at Magnus the Red ;)

As this seems like a poor excuse for a blog post I attempted to find some way of occupying my readers till I had something vaguely interesting to say. It would obviously have to have 'geek' appeal but at the same time fulfil the expectation that an attractive girl would somehow be involved,

I settled upon this.....


Apparently this was the young ladies attempt at a Pikachu costume.....Rule 34 is true it seems.....

Forge World Newsletter #278

 Forge World  Newsletter #278


Hi there,
            In this week’s newsletter we have for you a fantastic new Space Marine Dreadnought – the Contemptor Pattern Dreadnought – along with the hotly-anticipated Carcharodons Transfer Sheet.
Contemptor Pattern Dreadnought
Contemptor DreadnoughA true relic of the hallowed days of the Great Crusade, and of the heights of technological achievement once reached by the Imperium of Mankind, the Contemptor Pattern Dreadnought was a mainstay of the armoured might of the Astartes Legions of old. Larger and stronger than standard pattern Dreadnoughts, the Contemptor’s systems featured many examples of techno-arcana steeped in the sacred mysteries of the Legio Cybernetica.
Due to their spearhead assault role in the epic battles of the Great Crusade, losses were high amongst these potent war machines, and in the shadowed aftermath of the Heresy the ability to produce or maintain the Contemptor was all but lost. However, some Chapters still boast these war-relics amongst their ranks, and whenever the Contemptor takes to the field of battle it is an echo of the power of ancient days.
The Contemptor Pattern Dreadnought, designed by Will Hayes, is a detailed full resin kit that allows any Space Marine (or Chaos Space Marine) army to field one of these ancient war machines. Will has also designed two unique weapon options: a Contemptor Pattern Lascannon Arm and a Contemptor Pattern Close Combat Arm (Fist). These two weapons can be used on either side of the Dreadnought body, which is itself a fully poseable miniature.Experimental rules for this storied and ancient Dreadnought are available to download now from the Forge World website, and this kit and its weapon arms are available to pre-order now for despatch in the week commencing 25th July.
Carcharodons Transfer Sheet 
Charcharodons Transfer SheetPacked with well over 500 individual transfers, the Carcharodons Transfer Sheet is a hotly-anticipated addition to Forge World’s range of A4 transfer sheets. Kenton Mills has crammed onto it Chapter badges sized for both infantry and vehicles, heraldic blazons, Void Maw devices and a wide range of different sigils and devices that denote an individual Carcharodon warrior’s record of carnage across the stars, albeit in a manner that ensures his deeds may only be read by another Astartes of this ill-famed and sinister Chapter.
The Carcharodons Transfer Sheet is available to order now for immediate despatch.
Forge World Events News
Last weekend Forge World, accompanied by Imperial Armour writer Alan Bligh, joined the Warhammer World Events team for their Badab War Part 1 Campaign Weekend. The event was based on our popular Imperial Armour expansion books, and what a weekend it was! We’d like to thank everyone who stopped at the stand to say hi, ask questions or get their copies of the Badab War signed.
Everyone attending had a great time and you will be able to see more of what went on, including some very impressive conversions and painted armies, in a review coming soon. If you missed out the Events team are keen to run Part 2 next year.
Forge World’s intrepid sales team are now in sunny Madrid for Games Day Spain which takes place on July 3rd at the Pabellon de Convenciones at Casa del Campo, with a massive selection of the Forge World and Warhammer Forge range of resin kits, books and modelling products. You can download a catalogue from the Forge World website here. We look forward to seeing you there!
Thanks,
Ead Brown
Customer Service Manager
Forge World
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