Monday 29 August 2011

Well That's Cheered Me Up No End.....


The Black Library



Awesome picture, But once you add Aaron Dembski Bowden's monologue to it it's even funnier,


I… I don’t think that Avatar is going to make it home to his kids.
There were several deleted streams of dialogue, where Lorgar talks smack to this guy. Ultimately, I went with this totally true and honest extract:
Lorgar did a little dance. ”Where you going in such a hurry, Chuckles? I broke your legs with my megahammer. You’re going nowhere.” 
The Avatar didn’t answer. It started crawling, bleeding this stuff like souls and fire and magic shit like that.
Lorgar laughed. He laughed like a winner. “This is why I don’t have tabletop rules, man. Because I’m H to the Ardcore.”
The Avatar still didn’t answer. It was in pain, and its life totally sucked, and everything else was on fire, too. The Avatar was sad about that, because all that stuff on fire was his house or his base or whatever.
Lorgar caught up with the crawling fellow, and pressed a boot into the creature’s spine.
“Where’s my money, man? Why you gotta make me do this? Why you gotta make it into a thing?”
“Dude…” said the incarnated essence of an alien god of war. “I just need a few more days.”
“You’ve had plenty of days. You’ve had all kinds of days. Now I’m totally going to kill you, guy.”
Lorgar raised his megahammer, and totally killed the guy.
“Screw this place,” he said afterwards. “I’m going to go kill half of the Imperium for a laugh.”
He looked at the Avatar’s corpse as it dissolved into ash, like in Dawn of War.
“Later, dater.”

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