Attention, Guardsmen!
The Regimental Standard this week brings you an urgent update regarding your lasgun! Following several complaints* from Guardsmen concerning their weapons, an investigation has revealed an operating fault in several lasguns built on
Necromunda. The responsible parties have issued an important recall notice. Please consult it at your earliest possible convenience, once any operations involving your lasgun have come to a natural conclusion.
Spotting a Defective Weapon
In the event that the serial number of your weapon cannot be read, the following issues are commonplace to mistakenly issued Nihilis pattern lasguns:
- Above-average Combat Efficacy
- Temperamental Machine Spirit
- No Bayonet Attachment Point
- Unexpected Operator Hair Loss
- Unexpected Operator Death**
What To Do
To resolve your issue, simply return your Nihilis pattern lasgun to your regimental quartermaster. A replacement will be issued in 2-3 months, based on distance from nearest forge world and warp-time dilation on delivery vessels.
As a sign of our deepest contrition for this error, House Van Saar has issued your regiment with a set of almost-new plasma guns for your personal usage, specially locked to the overcharge setting to help you tackle the most dangerous foes.
We hope your regimental quartermasters will continue to choose House Van Saar products for your purging needs.
Remember, Guardsmen – your safety is our priority! We hope you receive both a new lasgun and a fittingly heroic death shortly.
* Usually, the punishment for such whinging would be flogging, but at present all disciplinary corps are otherwise engaged.
** Please note – operator death due to weapon failure does not make you eligible for martyr-class burial or family pension.
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