Some important health and safety advice from the Regimental Standard...
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WELCOME TO VIGILUS, BASTION OF THE NACHMUND GAUNTLET!
Your glorious regiment has had the good fortune of being assigned to Vigilus – the safest planet in the Imperium.* This Munitorum orientation pack includes everything you will need to acclimatise to your new environment during your brief time here.
ORIENTATION PACK CONTENTS:
ONE (1) ANTI-CORROSION AQUA CANISTER
Water is somewhat scarce on Vigilus, but rest assured that the Adeptus Munitorum promises to spare no expense to ensure those under its care are sufficiently hydrated with aqua of serviceable quality.** You are nonetheless advised to bring as much water with you as you can carry. Seek permission from an officer before using your helmet, boots or socks for this purpose.
ONE (1) VIGILUS-PATTERN NECK STOCK
Orders from the Ordo Prefectus strictly forbid Imperial citizens from looking up at the night sky due to the mental imbalance that gazing upon the Cicatrix Maledictum from such proximity can have on subsequent performance. This neck stock has been specially designed to deter such notions whilst ensuring maximum comfort to the wearer.
ONE HUNDRED (100) NOCTIS HIBERNATION TABLETS
Vigilus is rightly famed for the impregnability and integrity*** of the Bastion-class force field networks that shelter its hivesprawls. Though the Orders Hospitaller have confirmed that there are no side-effects to the psy-tech that powers these force fields,**** it is nonetheless recommended that you use hibernation tablets to ensure restful sleeping patterns and maximum productivity.
ONE (1) SAFETY CUDGEL
Recent events have seen acts of urban liveliness in certain hivesprawls across Vigilus, resulting in the late addition of this item to your orientation pack. Reports from local security forces claim that the most spirited citizens involved were sporting shaven scalps. A firm knock on the head with your safety cudgel should remind these subjects of their duty to the Emperor.
++ Thought for the Day: “A closed mind is defence against sedition.” ++
* Pending confirmation from the Adeptus Administratum.** A bitter aftertaste in the mouth and any subsequent vomiting are perfectly normal side effects and well within acceptable boundaries.*** Rumours of so-called ‘psy-glitches’ are untrue, and the spreading of such scurrilous lies is deemed a floggable offence.**** Rumours of ‘night terrors’ or ‘terminal migraines’ are untrue, complaints of which will render you eligible for auto-flogging
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